i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
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Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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