we have officially lost it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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