I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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