When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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