Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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