You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
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she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
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I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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