ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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