i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize