roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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