Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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