if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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