Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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