Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize