he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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