i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
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I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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