i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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