just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize