He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
how does that bad decision feel?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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