look no pants
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize