had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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