i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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