Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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