i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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