where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
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I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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