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hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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