yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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