she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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