Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize