i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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