Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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