she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize