Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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