i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize