Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize