My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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