You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
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you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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