I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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