ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize