I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
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he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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