Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Two words: blizzard sex
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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