what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize