Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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