New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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