I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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