I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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