biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize