Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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