I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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