you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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