hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
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Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I did not marry a roomba.
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